Embarrassment & Shame

Nobody's perfect, and we all make mistakes. Embarrassment and shame can be persistent and difficult emotions to put to rest. Here are some things that help me deal with these feelings:

1. Akgnowledge the feelings & their roots.

Feelings exist for a reason, so don't bottle them up or run from them. Allow yourself to feel the full force of yout embarrassment and shame. Reflect and identify what exactly about the situation caused you to feel this way.

2. Focus on presence.

Now, set aside the event and focus on just being present in the moment. You can meditate or do a relaxing activity like coloring, writing, painting your nails, or anything else you enjoy doing that isnt too complex that it takes away from actively being present in the moment. Make each stroke or every step intentionally and deliberately, if you feel your mind drifting, call your attention back to the current moment.

3. Put it in perspective

Consider a situation that a friend or family member might consider embarrasing or shameful, and your reaction as well as theirs and other people's to their situation. Do they laugh about it? DO they make a story or lesson out of it? Do they never speak of it at all? Will the outcome of this unlucky moment or decision matter in a year? 5 years?  Realistically, the answer to this question in most situations is no, it won't really matter a year or two from now, and you'll either laugh about it, tell the story or lesson, or not mention or forget about it. Forgive yourself, it's not the end of the world.

4. Distract yourself.

Keep yourself busy with tasks that boost confidence to distract yourself from any negative thoughts. This can look like completing a tough workout, finishing a book, doing your hair and makeup and picking out a cute outfit, cleaning your space, relaxing in the bath, cooking your favorite meal, or spending time with loved ones.